Nothing ever changes.

It's that time again, the monthly update. Nothing has changed really even though I thought things would have. As a person, I think I've changed a little bit. I'm better at dealing with things and finding the answers to my problems, or at least just assuming the answers to things. Which isn't the best way to go about things but it's better than leaving myself wondering about everything. I think maybe it's because I have too much time on my hands lately. I've been going to bed way too late and getting up way too late, which isn't good for me but the way I look at it, I'm not getting up for anything the next day. Time has been going by in different ways for me, sometimes fast and sometimes slow. I even forget what day of the week it is sometimes, but I guess that happens with most people.

I've been trying really hard lately to get things back on track with someone, I've never been more honest about things to someone before in my life and it doesn't seem to be paying off too much. I've expressed my feelings more than ever and I don't seem to be getting anywhere. I've been getting played so much lately. Don't get me wrong though, sometimes things are good, but then something will come up and ruin everything, maybe not for them, but for me. I now understand how loneliness can take a really big toll on someone. I've turned into a paranoid and worried person, it's nobodys fault but my own for letting it happen in the first place, but I guess we all learn the hard way sometimes. Even though I feel that I've changed in some good ways, I've also changed in some ways that I don't like. I'm constantly looking at my phone all the time and looking at the clock go by without any response from the person I'm trying to get attention from. I feel like I should give up, I know alot of people would rather I did, but as I always say to myself and other people, give it sometime and maybe things will pick up.

Tomorrow is Friday, I love Friday's. So I'm gonna try get up early, between 10 and 11 maybe. I'll cut the grass or something and actually do something my Mam wants done. Maybe then she'll stop complaining all the time. I'll have nothing to do after that, but she might give me money to go get my hair cut afterwards, which always makes me feel nice and fresh and generally better feeling. Hopefully that will go to plan but I'll more than likey end up watching loads of Prison Break Season 2 tonight which will have me up all night long.

In other news, I've been listening to the Starters Demo so much, and some Basement too. I love them two bands alot, the lyrics are the best things ever.

Hope really is just wishful thinking.

Until next time.