I'm trying.

Lately I've been trying real hard to reach into the mind of the girl I'm seeing. It's hard, but I'm trying real hard. I really want to know what she's thinking and what way she see's things. I'm getting somewhere but I know it's hard for her to just tell me everything, not everybody is open.

I really care about her and sometimes I don't think she see's that. I don't want to annoy her all the time by asking her what's bothering her but it pays off to tell me. I always listen to her and I've told her a hundred times that she can talk to me about anything. I'm sure other people have said the exact same thing to her but she'll see in time that I mean what I say. It doesn't really seem to work though. I'll keep trying and trying though because I want her to know that she's not alone, she can talk to me.

Alot of people would probably tell me that I'm mad to still talk to her after something that happened a few nights ago, I wasn't too happy about it but people make mistakes and I know that if i did what she did that I'd want another chance. I trusted her so much and maybe I just took it for granted that she wouldn't stray away from me. You probably think I'm sounding a bit serious when I'm only seeing the girl but I get hurt pretty easily. This time though, I've made it clear how I feel about her and about other things. Hopefully this time things will go according to plan. I don't want to jump on her with all that relationship shite just yet, she doesn't want that yet and that's fine, I'll wait. That's how much it means to me.

I understand that if I was just out of a long relationship that I'd want to take things easy and not jump into anything, I understand that. I don't think she knows that I understand though. That's why she should just talk to me and not expect me to know what's on her mind because it makes things hard. The only way to sort things out and to find out what the story is, is to talk to one another.

Apart from all of this though, things have been going great for us if you ask me. Sometimes I get annoyed when people like Ex's get involved and start holding things back but it's nothing that wont go away or can't be fixed. I hope things keep going well and I'm confident that I'll be better this time around. I've made mistakes in my past relationship with Eva and it's only now that I think about the things I said and did that I turn to myself and say ''What the fuck was I doing?''.

I've learned alot from that relationship but it's hard to keep it in my mind. Sometimes I have to think ''Ok, Robbie remember what happened last time you did that''. I don't always remember to think that though.

Last Friday she came out to the house and we had an awesome time. She wasn't too keen on coming out at first because she was a bit nervous and I think she might have thought that by me inviting her out to the house that things might be getting a bit serious, which wasn't really the case. I was just getting sick of thinking everyone was looking at us everytime I went to give her a fucking kiss. Maybe I'm just paranoid. It was still nice to have her in the house though and have her meet my Mam and whoever else was in the house. I think she had a good time and I think she's glad she came out. I hope it happens again so we can have good times and watch some movies and shit. I'm happy with this girl and I hope she feels the same.

In other news, I definitely need a shave and another hair-cut. I'll put that on my to do list. That's if I had a to do list.

Until next time.

Peace.